The Sentence Fragment Thing

Okay, yes, I am ranting about sentence fragments AGAIN, just like I did back _in July_. Clearly the author of the self-published novel I am currently reading missed that blog post. What? You say he never saw it because he is one of the millions who never read this blog? Oh. I see.

But you are reading this right now, so while I've got you, I'm going to take another opportunity to air my point of view.

In July, I posted links to several sites where you could read about sentence fragments. Here they are:

• Purdue Owl Online Writing Lab
• The Sentence Fragment
• UNC Writing Center

As I mentioned in July, I believe sentence fragments can be effective tools in a piece of writing, for example, when the writer wants to emphasize or dramatize something. The sentence fragment acts like a "punch line" in a joke. The reader instinctively notices it because "it's not right" (not a complete sentence), and the message hits home.

Another reason a writer might deliberately use sentence fragments is to build tension.

All of this refers to narrative, not dialogue or character thoughts. We all speak and think in sentence fragments. I have no problem with that.

Let's get back to the narrative part of a piece. A sentence needs to have two things: a subject and a predicate. The subject is usually a noun (with or without modifers). The predicate needs to include a verb in its basic form: past, present, or future. The sentence also needs to express a complete thought.

The bottom line here is that a sentence fragment cannot stand alone. To the ear, it *sounds* like it is unfinished, like something more is needed to complete the statement. For example, here is a sentence fragment: birds flying south for the winter. This could be the title of a painting, no problem. However, it is not a sentence. To make it a sentence, you could write "Birds fly south for the winter" or "Birds are flying south for the winter" or "Birds were flying south for the winter" or "Birds flew south for the winter." You could also write "He saw birds flying south for the winter." But birds flying south for the winter cannot stand alone as a sentence. It is a sentence fragment.

I do not consider myself some kind of grammar "purist." I simply think authors should realize the effects their wording choices have on readers. There may come a time when sentence fragments are so commonly used in writing that nobody notices any longer. I don't think that time has arrived yet.

Present? Past? Make up your mind!

"With one hand she takes the ice cream cone, and with the other, she grabbed her purse."

What's wrong with this sentence?

If you say, "nothing," then I have a feeling you are not going to get the point of this blog post. If you say "present and past tense are both used in the same sentence for no apparent reason" -- BINGO! You got it.

"Take" is present tense; "grabbed" is past tense. I suppose it is possible that I am the only reader in the world who is confused/bothered/annoyed by this, but I doubt it. Even if you don't know the names of all the tenses and their uses in English, the above sentence very likely interrupts the flow for you, causing you to mentally stumble.

As a writer, you don't want your readers to stumble. If you are writing fiction, you don't want to interrupt the flow of your story or pull the reader out of the mood you're trying to create. Although there may be individuals who don't notice tense changes, you are really limiting your potential fan base if you play fast and loose with tense.

I am currently reading a sample from a self-published novel in which the writer jumps back and forth from present to past tense within scenes, within paragraphs, and even within sentences. I have whiplash by the time I get to the bottom of a page. There is a very good chance that I will not keep reading this book even though the story line and characters are compelling. It just isn't worth being jerked around like that.

There are reasons for using present tense and reasons for using past tense. In order to decide which is best for a particular piece you are writing, you can try both. But in the final product, please be consistent. Choose one and stick with it.

Oh -- and as Linda points out below in her Comment -- that second comma needs to go. I am usually much better these days about not overusing commas, but sometimes old habits are hard to break!

About Those Sentence Fragments.

I am reading a novel by a best selling, agented, traditionally published author who shall remain nameless. This book -- along with two others I have read by this author -- has enough goofs to make me wonder whether a proofreader or copy editor ever went through it. Specifically, I am seeing too many instances where a sentence contains a word that doesn't belong there, possibly due to the author (or editor?) changing the way the sentence was phrased and forgetting to delete a word from the previous construction.

What bugs me even more about this author is the overuse of sentence fragments in the narrative sections of the book. Not sure what a sentence fragment is? Consult these web pages:

• Purdue Owl Online Writing Lab
• The Sentence Fragment
• UNC Writing Center

A strict grammarian might insist that one should NEVER use a sentence fragment in professional writing. In my opinion, this is a rule that can and should occasionally be broken as long as the writer is doing it deliberately to achieve a specific effect and as long as it is not done too often in a single piece of writing.

Ah ha. There we are. In the novel I am reading, the author clearly has the "chops" (if you will) to break rules as she sees fit. Unfortunately, by using so many sentence fragments, she destroys any effect she might have been trying to achieve with them. Her prose comes across as choppy. The frequent fragments are almost certain to distract educated readers from the fascinating story, compelling characters, and anything else the book has going for it.

Of course, there are readers who won't even notice. I understand that. Maybe this author (and/or her editor/publisher) is fine with appealing to that audience alone. However, those readers who do notice are likely to be turned off.

My advice to writers: Don't join the Frequent Fragments Club!

An important exception: Dialogue. A whole lot of people speak in sentence fragments. It sounds and is natural. In fact, you can make a character stand out by having him or her speak only in complete sentences!